The shift

Posted by Rich Magahiz Tue, 02 Nov 2010 03:09:00 GMT

the bones of mountains

creak and groan

here giants walk

San Francisco wins the Fall classic

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Sparkling manhattanite

Posted by Rich Magahiz Sun, 19 Sep 2010 15:20:00 GMT

a tongue of light –

Macy’s famous windows

sag in

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Posted by Rich Magahiz Thu, 12 Aug 2010 14:39:00 GMT

milky seas –

they name the colony


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Mastering the art

Posted by Rich Magahiz Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:19:00 GMT

Originally uploaded by marymactavish
the mantle
is for nutrition; the crust
for taste

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Second Warring States period

Posted by Rich Magahiz Sat, 05 Apr 2008 13:47:00 GMT

the old power plant
a sour wind blows
flakes of paint

hold me! prelude to a spore body

Come, love,
to Venus! Mind the
flesh-rending molluscs…

About that title…
You want to know what the Second Warring States period is?
Of course.
It is a time which postdates the first one or the other first one. As far as I know, it hasn’t happened yet.
But it doesn’t relate to the scifaiku at all, as far as I can tell.
You would perhaps prefer this title, then:

The old power plant

the old power plant
a sharp wind blows
flakes of paint

To me, it is part of the reader’s experience to try to bring the title in line with the poem, and the two parts of the scifaiku itself in line with one another, so when one titles a scifaiku with the very same words used in the poem, something is lost. In fact, I would go further and say that it would be better to leave it untitled than to repeat oneself in the title.
You hate that kind of lazy titling.
No comment.
So you think there actually is a connection between the weird “Warring States” title and the verse, I guess.
To me, it suggests that perhaps such a period of strife and chaos might return, given sufficient inconvenience, and plays against the images of acid precipitation and of worn and peeling paint to give you an idea of what kind of wars one might be able to fight then. Utterly straightforward, it is. Yeesssssss.
Another in a projected series of discussions on poetry.

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